I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I will pee on everything he values.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
