Your tits are I can't wait for
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
