i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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