If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just invented taco cereal.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
