i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
