Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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