Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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