I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
