no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
