If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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