woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
