I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
