hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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