Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The feeling are messing with the penis
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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