so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
