I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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