I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
