I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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