Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
