If that was your dad, he is hot
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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