why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
