I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
