worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
