Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize