I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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