he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
