my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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