i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize