Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
