With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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