it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
