i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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