be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
