Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
