...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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