Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
