An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
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My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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