yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
