Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So squirting runs in the family.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
