So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
