Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize