Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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