Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
