What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
