they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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