never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
