is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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