I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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