do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
