If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
