Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
