do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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