My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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