hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
