I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
