The maid of honor just puked.
id be glad to
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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