i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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