The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
