false alarm. still invincible.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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