p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
