how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
