somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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