Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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