If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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