idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
