Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
