Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
