I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
