what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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