remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize