I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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